Cultivating Conversation with Kids: 5 Questions They Want You to Ask
It’s important to talk to kids early and often about underage drinking and using active listening skills is essential. Active listening helps build trust and supports healthy decision-making, especially when asking open-ended questions for clarification.
Erin O’Malley, Upper School Counselor at Holton-Arms School, Responsibility.org Education Advisory Board member, and parent, knows there are certain questions that cultivate conversations, regardless of the topic.
5 Questions Kids Want you to Ask
Kids often want to talk but may not know how to begin. Asking any of these five questions in a non-judgmental way can help start the conversation:
- Are you venting or do you want my advice?
- If you needed help, how would you want me to respond?
- What questions should I ask you?
- Do you feel safe?
- What would make it easier to say no in a tough situation?
These thoughtful questions encourage kids to pause and reflect. They show that we care, support them, and want to be a part of their lives. Their responses may offer insights into what is shaping and influencing their choices, who influences them, and what helps them feel supported – key insight into their mental health. Their responses may also reveal how and what they think about underage drinking.
Another strategy Erin uses to spark conversations is bringing in a “third party.” Mentioning something you read in the news, heard from another parent, or saw on social media can open the door to talking about underage drinking, prevention, or related issues by asking:
- What do you think?
- What would you do?
- What do kids your age think about drinking?
As parents, you are the #1 influence on your kids’ decisions to drink – or not drink – alcohol. That’s why the conversations you have with your kids matter. Asking thoughtful questions and keeping communications open shows support, encourages health decision-making, and can help reduce risky behaviors.
From all of us at Ask, Listen, Learn, thank you for cultivating conversations with your kids!