Talk Early, Talk Often

Conversations about alcohol should start early, continue often and naturally, and help kids develop the tools they need to say “NO” to underage drinking and underage cannabis use. Communicating the importance of safety and the dangers of underage drinking and underage cannabis use while sharing expectations and values are key to empowering kids to make good decisions.

These talks are not “one and done,” nor do they have to be conducted formally. Starting these conversations early and revisiting them often helps to foster a trusting relationship, ensuring that tweens feel comfortable seeking guidance and support as they navigate social situations.

Here are some tips to start—and continue—productive conversations with tweens:

  • Seize a teachable moment when your tween has a question about alcohol.
  • Spark a conversation using current events or what they see online. You might say: “I saw a video online about that person getting too drunk and embarrassing themselves. Did you see that? What do you think will happen next?” Relevant stories about other tweens can also be effective when you start with: “I saw sometime online about kids and alcohol recently. What have you heard about drinking from your friends or at school?”
  • Use time in the car to talk with your kids.
  • Role-play scenarios.  Use examples such as “When you go to the dance tonight, let’s pretend someone offers you a ride home, but you know they snuck a few drinks. What would you say?” or “You go to a friend’s house for a sleepover and they start drinking. They offer you a cup that you know has alcohol in it. What do you say?” 
  • Discuss ways to get out of a situation where risky behaviors might be involved. Determine a code word or emoji for them to text to let you know they are making the responsible decision to exit an uncomfortable situation.
  • Remind your kids that they should make decisions based on their own safety and the safety of others—not about whether or not they will get in trouble if they get caught.
  • Not all conversations are about alcohol or illegal substances! Establishing yourself as a trusted adult will open the door for conversations big and small as your tween grows and matures.
  • Listen and ask follow-up questions.

Remember – when conversations about alcohol go up, underage drinking rates go down.

Take pride in the fact that as parents, you’re the #1 influence on your kids’ decisions to drink  – or not drink – alcohol. Starting conversations now and continuing them often will help kids make good decisions in the future.

To learn more about how you can engage in conversations with your kids, check out our other Tween Talk blogs on keeping calm and starting with the facts.

Thank you for all you do to keep your kids substance-free. We appreciate having you in our Ask, Listen, Learn community!