For parents of young children, Halloween safety means adding reflective tape to costumes, reviewing the rules about not going into a stranger’s house, and checking candy for signs of tampering.

As they enter middle school and start testing boundaries, we need to talk about appropriate costumes, tricks and pranks that are not so funny, and the challenges awaiting them at parties.

I think most parents nod in agreement when hearing the quote “The days are long but the years are short” by Gretchen Rubin. As your children get older, both the days and the years fly by with ever-increasing speed.

As a parent, it’s important to feel comfortable talking to your child about alcohol, and that in return, they feel comfortable coming to you with their questions and concerns. Being prepared to answer some common questions can help you feel more confident about having conversations about alcohol and underage drinking as they grow! Here are some of the questions that come up often—and ways to answer them in ways that resonate well with tweens.

As your budding adolescents get older, the chances that they will be exposed to alcohol increase. It’s almost inevitable that at some point your children will have to make the choice to say YES or NO to alcohol. They may be taken by surprise when put in this situation. They may be trying hard to fit in with a cool crowd and have trouble thinking up good responses from scratch. That’s why they need to have some answers at the ready, and why having conversations about saying NO are so important.

Whether your child raises it or you broach the subject of drinking, when it does come up, make your views utterly clear. Your tween may not parrot your opinions the way he did when he was seven, but he still very much cares what you think.